A Material Mess.

So the much-ballyhooed, over-hyped, head-scaratchin' new track from Miss Material Girl and Mr. Young Moola themselves, easily the weirdest musical collaboration since Rick James/Eddie Murphy, has finally surfaced on the interweb via Kanye's blog (where I got it anyway) and probably available everywhere else too. And well, it's what you'd expect...if the possibility of having expectations was possible for a song sung by Madonna and rhyme/auto-tuned by Lil Wayne. The two artists' age difference is comparable to that of a freak-show mother & son and more so just a continuation of Madonna's attempt to remain relevant twenty years too many. I mean, it's Reaganism and the Y generations fused into a song about fucking, binded together through the symbolism of good ol' American guns'n'ammunition. Madonna takes the lead, though I'll bet the pink slip to my life that Wayne came up with the concept. What can I say except the man is a walking, breathing concept-creating machine. There's a reason lime-light aspiring rhyme-slangers and sangers the world over pay Carter in excess of $10,000 just for a 16-bar verse. Basically, Lil Wayne makes ten stacks while taking a shit. While eating a cheeseburger. While beating off (if he even does such a thing anymore with the ability he has to grab snatch at the snap of one of his tat-covered fingers), basically by doing whatever is humanly possible in the alloted time it takes to make a 16 at Wayne's level of skill - about ten minutes or less. So ya, as I said Madge starts out the song, nothing really special here. She's one of the few remaining pop icons yet to fall victim to the ultra-tempting auto-tune, that was my first thought upon listening. Beyond that she tries to win over the listener with her sexual skills which, if it was 1988, would have worked and then some. But Madonna is what, like 50 now? And much kudos to her for the excellent physical shape she has remained to stay in but please, you can only cover-up wrinkles and cellulite for so long. Wayne is the clear winner here, as shown through his song wrap-up 16 bar verse. He once again uses auto-tune, but more so stays away from hitting the high-notes unlike in the not so long ago past few tracks of his. Highlights include "I never shoot & tell I just shoot to kill" and talking about how the girl can eat his bullets. Just be careful of the potential lead-poisening right? Anyway like I said, nothing special has really come out of this new Madonna song, and it definitely won't instill the masses with a feeling of anticipation for whatever album the track is being used to push. All in all, just another $10,000 or so for Mr. Carter. Pass him the TP and let's keep it moving in pop-cultureland.

- Eso